Good Wednesday Morning.
First I must ask those of you who are also friends with me on FACEBOOK ... PLEASE do not comment or ask me any questions about my husband there. He is a very private man and would be upset with my discussing his health in a public forum.
It is a good thing that I went yesterday. Visits with the doc have been pretty non-eventful for a while. Those of you who have been around a while will remember that she told us he was "cancer-free" sometime after the radiation had ceased. (I never fully believed her). His PSA has been within an acceptable range and we've been feeling pretty confident about his recovery.
Yesterday's visit began with the Doc sitting down in the room and saying "I'm sorry but I have bad news for you today." His PSA jumped from 1.1 to 3.2 over the past 3 months. She says it is an indicator that his prostate cancer has metastasized to his bones (I guess where prostate cancer travels when it leaves the prostate). No "cure" telling us it will be like managing a chronic illness such as diabetes. Options? Go back on the hormone suppressant shots and see if the PSA drops again. If so ... stay on those the rest of his life or as long as it keeps his PSA low. Chemotherapy was mentioned but my husband will not opt for that. If his cancer becomes hormone resistant (i.e. his PSA climbs even with the shots) then he might become eligible for a new drug named Provence. Each dose of Provence costs $50,000.00. Doc said, no worries the insurance company will pay for it. Well ... in my plan they pay 80% we pay 20% ... so our copay would be 10 grand per dose? Right.
You know how it is ... you are in shock, not sure I remember everything she said. I remember hearing 10 years but can't remember what that was in reference too. I know she said it is typically slow growing and doesn't act like regular bone cancer because it is secondary to prostate cancer.
I'm emotionally exhausted this morning and reeling from the news. He doesn't want to tell the kids yet so we won't. He has an appointment in February ... they will check his numbers again and we'll make a decision about the next step then based on what his numbers are.
I need to learn more about the topic. I tried to read some last night off websites but was too overwhelmed with emotion. I have a former colleague I may contact. Her husband was diagnosed shortly before mine and maybe he and she can help me sort through some of my questions.
I know life is tenuous at best. One of us will die eventually. Still, I am in shock. The news means our "life" ... will not get better with time. The shots chemically castrate a man. No testosterone. Y'all know what that means. It also means weight gain, no energy, decrease in strength and stamina, hot flashes and potentially "man boobs."
And so ... of course I find myself thinking ... what the hell is the point of me losing weight, I want to dive into a vat of chocolate and swim about, drinking it in as I please. I know that now more than ever self care is called for so of course I can't "give up." I also know life goes on and I will find balance, a way to live with this. Just not too gracefully this morning.
Thanks for listening. Thank you for respecting my boundaries Facebook friends, by not mentioning any of this there.
Take care of yourselves.
Moose
Näytä dieettikalenteri, 28 marraskuuta 2012:
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1557 kcal
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Rasva: 59,95g | Prot: 119,17g | Hh: 130,72g.
Aamiainen: Egg & Cheese McMuffin. Lounas: Cottage Cheese (Lowfat 2% Milkfat) , Pico De Gallo (Mild), Boiled Egg, Chicken Breast Meat (Broilers or Fryers) . Päivällinen: Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast, Boiled Egg, 3 Cheese Mexicana Shredded Cheese, Original Iceberg Garden Salad (Zip), Yogurt Ranch with Kefir, Simple Favorites Swedish Meatballs with Pasta. Välipalat/Muut: Nutri-Grain Cereal Bar - Apple Cinnamon, Honey Wheat Braided Twists Pretzels, Chocolate Caramel Coffee Creamer. lisää...
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3029 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Ajaminen - 1 tunti, Lepo - 7 tuntia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Toimistotyö - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
OMG, Carol. I'm so sorry. Definitely be careful with what you read on the Internet, not to mention how overwhelming it can be. Are there support groups you could go to? If I were you, I'd head where doctors never go (I'm from a family of them -- not their fault, they just don't know better) -- nutrition. Can you research what nutritional things help lower PSA. I hope things turn around for you guys and hope that you get some decent answers to your questions.
28 marras 12 jäseneltä: Helewis
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Wow. Those are truly bad news. I am so sorry to hear, Carol. Please know that you are in my (and everyone else who reads this) thoughts. Please let your husband know too, unless of course it will bother him that you share. As you have probably already realized, your journal here is a great outlet for so many things, and I can only recommend that you keep using it. Use it to clear your head of any thoughts, good or bad. Your friends and buddies are here for you, through good and bad times alike. You know that.
28 marras 12 jäseneltä: kingkeld
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Thank you Heather and Keld. I will be careful with what I glean from the Internet. Hubby already takes quite a few supplements but we will pay attention to nutrition. I am pretty dang overwhelmed and extremely sad right now. We could still have years together but having an idea about the timeframe for the expiration of our relationship is difficult to bear.
28 marras 12 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I am sorry Carol. You've been through so much, life should give you a break... I sincerely hope the shots will be effective. They have side effects, of course, but if your husband can stay cancer-free, it is still a good option isnt'it? Good nutrition, sleep and positive thinking until the next tests may also help, at least they will keep you both "on track", more ready to face daily challenges. You are in my thoughts.
28 marras 12 jäseneltä: barbabella
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Praying for you, Carol, and your DH and your mom. Would love to FB you . Im going to do some research too and il share what I learn.
01 joulu 12 jäseneltä: Helewis
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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