I must admit. The snow is pretty. It is December and there should be some snow.
Blue seems to be completely back to his old self. He jumped up on the bed early this morning to curl up and sleep in his dad's spot. Due to the snow DH didn't arrive home until after I was up and about this morning. That meant I had the pleasure of fixing him something to eat before he went to bed AND did not have time for my Pilates. I'm okay with that trade-off ... especially because I got hugs and kisses and an "I miss you" from my DH.
I am happy it is Friday. This has been a tough week for me. Clients have a lot going on in their lives as do I. Doubly good that it is payday. Triply good because last night I learned our youngest will be able to come home for Christmas. We might even have our middle home join us for Christmas Eve dinner. That hasn't happened for YEARS ... even though he lives in the same small town we do. He called on Thanksgiving ... wishing to get back in contact with the family (after a lot and I mean A LOT of drama over the past years). It is interesting to me that both our older children have come back into our lives after long absences ... even though they know nothing of DH's current cancer condition. It is almost as if it was scripted that way. It has its benefits and detriments ... but I'm riding the roller-coaster and trying to hold on the best I can.
Another dip in the scale today which was nice. I'm not sure at what point I'll begin to feel as if I will be successful. I'm not there yet. I have managed to stay away from the Mrs. Field's cookies so far. Of course I can eat them anytime I want. Simply add the calories to my calorie counter. I certainly could afford A SINGLE cookie. My fear is that I'll get that sweet taste in my mouth and want MORE!! That is my MO. Always has been. So I'll wait until I feel ready to have ONE (white chocolate macadamia nut cookie of course!!!).
I do have travel on my agenda today to home visits. The highways seem pretty good so it should be okay. It is snowing but only lightly so I hope that holds.
I have been seriously thinking I need to scale back my committments. While I am certainly still effective in my work and am doing "okay" emotionally I feel as if I am holding on by a thin thread. My dearest friend kindly told me I need to strengthen that thread by trimming my committments. I'm the type of woman who truly believes she "should" and "can" do it all. I am also not the best in the world at taking care of me. My participation in AIMEARLYIDAHO is the place I think I will trim back ... we have a board meeting coming up on Tuesday so I have a few more days to ponder how much to step back. The funny thing is I keep thinking "why?" I mean DH is "healthy" right now, he's likely not to die very soon ... so I "should" be able to just keep doing everything I have been doing, right? There's that "should" again.
In the midst of this amazing journey of life even with the chaos and saddness still ... I am grateful ...
* for the beauty of freshly fallen snow * for "I miss you" from my DH * for friends who dare to tell me what they really think * for my mother * for the distraction of work ... sometimes it stresses me out ... sometimes it helps
Take care ...
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1675 kcal
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Rasva: 56,46g | Prot: 130,18g | Hh: 163,58g.
Aamiainen: Bacon, Egg, Velveeta Cheese Slices, Low Fat Mayonnaise Dressing, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Lounas: Chicken Breast Meat (Broilers or Fryers) , Boiled Egg, Pico De Gallo (Mild), Cottage Cheese (Lowfat 2% Milkfat) . Päivällinen: Complete Meals Homestyle Salisbury Steak. Välipalat/Muut: White American Cheese, Mesquite Smoked Turkey, Air Popped Popcorn, Premium Wild-Caught Pink Salmon (Pouch), Velveeta Shreds Queso Blanco, Green & Crisp Lettuce with Iceberg and Romaine, Fat Free Ranch Dressing, York Peppermint Pattie Coffee Creamer, Special K Protein Meal Bar - Double Chocolate. lisää...
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2971 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Ajaminen - 3 tuntia, Lepo - 7 tuntia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Toimistotyö - 6 tuntia. lisää...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
I admire your winters. We are still sunny and 80 here. I am not complaining at all though! Hey I like your boys coming around. Even though its tough its just something that you'll regret later if its never done. Idk what it is w/ families, why we are so distant, and hurtful towards one another. I've had my share. Its hard, I know. Boy we can prob sit for hours talking about this one! About the cookie. Good idea. The way I see it is the calories are affordable, but the ingredients -what's in it for you? sugar, fat, flour, all negative, will make you crave more, feel bad for caving in. Here's the way I look at it. I eat mostly well M-F and I allow myself to up my cals Sat and Sun. I save my fatty meals (cause I like food more than sweets!) for the weekend. Burgers, pizza. We need balance right? Save your cookie. You might be able to afford it calorie wise but consider that fact that it will stall your weight loss for that week. Enjoy your cookies Sat! :) Hope it helps.
07 joulu 12 jäseneltä: cindyshine
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So, if this doesn't make you feel successful, then what will? Take a look at your weight loss graph again, and tell me again that you're not sure?!? Moose, you're doing it, whether you think so or not. Don't change a thing, do what you're doing now. It works!
07 joulu 12 jäseneltä: kingkeld
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Glad Blue is better...and what Kingkeld said..Love hugs and kisses from my sweetie too...enjoy girl..and have a great weekend...:O)
07 joulu 12 jäseneltä: BHA
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I know it is working I'm simply impatient and because I gained so much I think what I meant was as the weight continues to decline at some point i will begin to feel more positively that I will reach my goal.
07 joulu 12 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Moose....Best advice I ever got from a shrink: "Don't 'should' on yourself." I can't remember much of his (good) counsel from 20 years ago, but that one pops up in my mind often (whenever I need it)...this was well worth whatever he charged! :)
11 joulu 12 jäseneltä: doit2it
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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