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It is now 6 pm. Just finished dinner and am sitting here with a hit cup of good earth tea. I did manage to complete my Pilates DVD but it was a push. Every move seemed difficult today. I am in a full fledged funk, not about my weight loss journey but life in general. I'm moving slowly. I feel heavy in my heart. I'm near tears often. I am not smiling. I just want to sleep.
That is why I pushed myself with the Pilates. I know I have to keep moving, get things done, plod along because this will pass or morph into something else. Life does go on. That I do know. And this could be a long road. Why am I taking this so hard? Why do I feel so gloomy? He is still here. He is alive and relatively well right now. It doesn't make any sense to me. I feel like I am a weenie. Weak. This sucks.
On another note I forgot to tell you all about my Walmart adventure yesterday. Before I came home I stopped by Wally World to pick up a few things. It had been snowing consistently most of the day so I was anxious to get home before dark, knowing the roads might be a tad challenging. I made it home, safe and relatively sound, no problem. Settled into my comfy clothes, had dinner and sat down to watch tv with my mom (DH is working nights so most nights it's just me, mom, and the puppy). After a while I decided to get on the web and order a couple of things DH wants for Christmas so I went downstairs to get my wallet.. Looked in the purse. No wallet. Began to panic. Went out to the car to see if by some chance the wallet had fallen out of my purse. No wallet. Oh dear. Remembered my last stop before home was Walmart. Panic stricken now (drivers license, debit card, credit card, cash) I look hurriedly for Walmart's phone number. Whew. They have it! So I settled back down to my chair and immediately began to fret. Is everything still in my wallet? I need to know!!! After about an hour of fretting I finally decided I'd better drive back to town (about a 30 minute trek when the roads are clear) or I would toss and turn all night long. So off I went into the white wild night. Thankfully everything was intact, cash credit card, debit card, drivers license, everything! DH still doesn't know. He would have had a cow if he knew I drove back into town after such a snowy day!
To me, forgetting my wallet is a sign of my stress level. Guess I better be careful ... Might forget to get dressed for work next!
Anyway ... Thanks for listening. Sorry I'm not more positive these days.
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1252 kcal
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Rasva: 33,44g | Prot: 102,58g | Hh: 142,77g.
Aamiainen: Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins, Low Fat Mayonnaise Dressing, Velveeta Cheese Slices, Egg. Lounas: Turkey Meatloaf, Low Fat Mayonnaise Dressing, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Päivällinen: Complete Meals Chicken Pesto Alfredo. Välipalat/Muut: Mesquite Smoked Turkey, Low Fat Ice Cream Bars - Cookies 'n Cream Truffle, Special K Protein Meal Bar - Chocolate Caramel. lisää...
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2804 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Pilates - 50 minuuttia, Lepo - 12 tuntia ja 10 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Toimistotyö - 3 tuntia. lisää...
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