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Good morning!!
I never did get back to update my journal entry yesterday. The day was just much too busy!!
I have been tracking my calories and exercise. I'm doing okay. Scale was down a bit this morning. Need to make sure I don't measure my "worth" by that number.
These past few months may take me some time to understand. I know there are lessons to be learned but I don't quite have the emotional energy nor the time to ponder it too much right now. It will come to me when I am ready. In the mean time I simply want to be "on track." I want to be kinder to myself by taking care of myself nutritionally as well as in other ways. Today is Thursday and I believe is the 4th day in a row I have been tracking my exercise and eating. I'm a little wary of the weekend but will step forward and stay conscious.
I have a funeral to attend on Saturday and I don't really want to go. Yet, I feel that I should go and so probably will. I'm not a fan of funerals. I don't want one myself. However, I am aware that they have meaning for other people and think it may be important for my colleagues that I attend.
Just received a phone call cancelling a visit this morning. I have a couple of appointments this afternoon so I'll still be plenty busy. Must get to the post office too to mail off a couple of packages. It is amazing how quickly this holiday has snuck up on me. Usually I am very much in the "spirit" ... not this year. I've been a regular scrooge.
Still ... grateful I am ...
1. for others belief in me
2. for the tools available to me here on fatsecret
3. for the awareness that I need to "FIGHT" against my self-destructive tendencies
4. for weighing ...
5. for still having my husband here with me
I still feel somewhat embarassed that I am "losing" again and not maintaining. Probably foolish but it is indeed how I feel. Like I have failed. I know I haven't failed, this isn't a race, not something I will accomplish at one specific point in time and then not have to deal with again. I "know" that and yet I still do not "know" that if that makes any sense at all to any of you. I am definitely not a pie. I'll never be "done." I think I'll gain more balance, more perspective with time. In the meantime I know it is important for me to write what I am thinking and feeling. It helps me gain that perspective.
Thank you all for your continued presence in my life, for your support, for your encouragement.
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1498 kcal
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Rasva: 42,74g | Prot: 87,62g | Hh: 209,65g.
Aamiainen: Sandwich Thin, Jarlsberg Lite, large egg. Lounas: Flat Out Light Italian, Weight Watchers Yogurt, banana, white turkey meat, light laughing cow cheese. Päivällinen: Lean Cuisine Ginger Chicken. Välipalat/Muut: Cascadian Farm Cinnamon Raisin Granola, peanut butter, braided pretzels, Nature Valley Granola Thins. lisää...
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3252 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Toimistotyö - 9 tuntia, Ajaminen - 2 tuntia, Precor Elliptical - 46 minuuttia, Lepo - 4 tuntia ja 14 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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 Kommentit
I'm sorry your having a hard time right now - I know all to well what its like. Maybe we both need to make a list for ourselves - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just remember that your buddies are here for you, and we always will. Here and on FB!
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
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Hang in there and I think you are doing so well, it takes time a stress can be a killer when it comes to weight loss. Take it easy today hun, (hug)
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: MrsMtkr
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The only thing I know about this journey is that it never ends... and that a weight gain is not a failure. One day at the time, no pressure. You know what to do and you have the tools to help. And you have your buddies to support!! ((hugs))
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: jessyline
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You sound more like your "new self" today :). I am glad you faced the scale. I have to admit, I have felt a little guilty because it seemed that I helped to convince you that weighing in every day on fatsecret is not necessary. That has always worked for me so far- but I do weigh myself every day. I just don't record the fluctuations. Maybe weighing every day is something you would have kept up with without my influence. I have read many times that people who weigh themselves daily are more successful at keeping weight off. I hope that when you are ready, you will share with us your thoughts on "what happened" because it will help you and maybe others (like me!) The only failure is giving up. Have a great Thursday!
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: k8yk
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Yes you do sound more like yourself today and I am so happy you are back here. Anne is so right. This journey is never ending and sometimes very frustrating. I like what Kate says about not recording the fluctuations but how do you know when it is a flutcuation? Just wondering. lol Anyway I have been a bit of a scrooge too...well maybe not a scrooge exactly but just not into the hustle and bustle of the season. I am just happy to spend it with my family and to be off of work. Well I talked too much on your journal. Sorry Carol!!
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Cathy, I have a 5 lb range my weight bounces around in. If it goes above that range for more than three days in a row, I will record it. It has only happened once in the last two years. Usually when it gets to the top of the 5 lb range it's TOM. But if not, I am extra diligent about my eating that day.
16 joulu 10 jäseneltä: k8yk
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thanks for being here and thinking out loud. You may not like that you are losing and not in a maintainence mode but for those of us who are not maintaining and need to be losing it's an encouragement to have company. Here's a thought....one thing I've really pondered is reading my buddies really struggle hard even when they are at goal or below goal or two pounds above goal, there seems to be fear, unhappiness and lack of contentment. I keep imagining that if sharon got her act together and did the hard work to get to 130 I would feel great...but no one seems to. I don't like where I am at the moment 37 pounds above goal. I begin to feel ok with my appearance at 155 and that is high but I enjoy myself and my clothes more at that weight..approx 12-15 pounds over that right now so man, oh man I can't wait to be losing...I want to be you soon! that was long- sorry
17 joulu 10 jäseneltä: sharonfriz
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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