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Some days are more challenging than others. As I recline here, safely in my bed, I feel relieved that the day is over and I will eat no more until tomorrow. That said, I must admit there have been many times in my past that I have gone to bed craving a particular food downstairs (could be anything) and at some point in the night gone downstairs and eaten it, or simply binged on whatever I could lay my hands on. I am hungry but I know I will not do that tonight. What makes the difference? Why is it sometimes I can rationalize that behavior and at other times I chose that it is not an option. I don't know the answer to my own question. This evening, as I watched my husband consume ice cream bars, chips, and popcorn with butter I gazed in amazement and I wanted to snack. But I didn't. I drank my water, had a cup of decaf with creamer (as has become my nightly routine after dinner), distracted myself with my iPad, and watched tv.
If the scale goes up tomorrow I want to know it isn't because I did something I regretted. I really want to be thinner and able to be more comfortable in my own skin this summer, this upcoming birthday, for the rest of my life. I would be amazed and ecstatic if I got closer to 219 by the end of this month. I've really been trying to respect the 16/8 approach. It's a challenge.
I looked at all the bakery items today when I was in the market. I know how sweet and seductive they are in my mouth. And then I try to remember how little control I seem to have after even a small taste. If there are a dozen donuts in the house I will eat more than one. I never buy one donut. I can't remember ever eating just one donut. Or one cookie. Or a small sliver of cake. Or one slice of bread. I always want more. I can do it if we are out. But when I get home I begin to think of what else I could eat. Even if I am not hungry.
It is interesting, being physically hungry. I like it better than being stuffed like an over stuffed turkey on Thanksgivng day. But there are times, many times in my life, I have wanted that stuffed, almost comatose feeling, it is strangely comfortable for me. I don't like the side effects. Heartburn. The weight gain. The sleep disturbance. The regret. Or emotional place it creates. And yet I have done it since childhood.
So today I ate mindfully. I stayed the course. And I am grateful to be here in my bed, pondering my random thoughts.
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582 kcal
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Rasva: 24,19g | Prot: 42,00g | Hh: 51,25g.
Lounas: Turkey Thigh (Skin Not Eaten). Päivällinen: Smart Ones Classic Favorites Tuna Noodle Gratin. Välipalat/Muut: International Delight Cold Stone Creamery Hot For Cookie Coffee Creamer, Boar's Head Asiago Cheese, Boar's Head Asiago Cheese. lisää...
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3148 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Elliptical - 30 minuuttia, Lepo - 7 tuntia ja 30 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Toimistotyö - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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