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I don't know what I'd do without you all… you always boost me up & make me feel like I'm not the failure that I feel sometimes, nor the odd ball with crazy thoughts, making repetitive and less than ideal choices over & over while disliking the outcome. Instead, you help me again realize that it's a journey that needs to be taken one day or step at a time and will have its pot holes, slow downs for construction, detours & temporary shut downs (although those only hopefully occasionally). And, even though it sometimes feel that for each 2 steps forward, there's the inevitable one step back. it is still progress in the right direction, which I have to keep reminding myself to get it through this thicker than I'd like sometimes skull of mine.
I had a good discussion with my therapist yesterday about my disordered thoughts on Sunday & detour from mindful eating on Sunday night. It's a trigger day & time for me as a very, very long standing dieting habit of mine dating back to when I was in my twenties (hence the very, very!). I'd restrict weekdays, loosen up weekends & save Sunday dinners & dessert for a weekly splurge. Habits that old will take time to change, so I'll plug along making little dents away from that deeply engrained route and toward a healthier way of eating. While I do still prefer to choose what I eat more carefully during the week so that I have the luxury of wider choices on the weekends, I'll work to even those choices out. And, I'll work on having a plan for Sundays and Sunday evenings especially. This past Sunday just transpired without much thought (other than the disordered eating ones of the morning), so for the next Sundays, I'll come up with a plan ahead of time. I also realized that if it turns out I'll have some time on my own on Sunday evening, reading (unless it's a really good, all consuming book) and/or watching tv is not active enough to keep me busy during this time when eating or thinking about eating has been my habit. So, I'll instead do something more active during this time, such as going for a walk (weather permitting), working a jigsaw puzzle (a family favorite & tradition) or playing a game or other activity with any family members available. As usual for me, I feel better having learned another lesson from this overeating incident and with ideas of what to try next time instead. That's where the progress comes in!
So, on I go, one day at a time and for this one day on to tennis this morning & up to work after. But, first, I'll pray --
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And, for this one day and each one meal, moment, bite, thought & emotion, I'll pray, breathe, log, journal & express my way. I'm so, so grateful for each of awesome you, my family & IRL friends, therapeutic help here & IRL, making progress even when it's not as fast or direct as I'd like, sunshine, bulletproof coffee, getting back outside for tennis starting this morning and having the health & wealth to live this life I love… detours and all! xoxox
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1156 kcal
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Rasva: 45,99g | Prot: 85,00g | Hh: 123,00g.
Aamiainen: Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Vanilla Coconut Creme, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk, Spectrum Naturals Organic Coconut Oil, Harmless Harvest 100% Raw Coconut Water. Lounas: Primal Nutrition Primal Fuel - Chocolate Coconut, Lactaid 100% Lactose Free Fat Free Milk. Päivällinen: Stew Leonard's Healthy Eggplant Tomato Bisque, Evolve Greek Kefir. Välipalat/Muut: Raw Green Smoothie. lisää...
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1950 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Tennis - 1 tunti ja 30 minuuttia, Lepo - 14 tuntia ja 30 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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