The vacation spike declined again today. YES!! Another concrete example for me to review ... a gain isn't necessarily "failure" ... nor proof that my body desires to be bigger!! I can kick up my heels and then return to everyday healthy choices. It was still painful, recording the spike but less painful this time. I still resisted recording it but only waited one day this time!! Progress. Definitely progress.
So ... this morning I was looking back over my journal of weights I've kept at home since March 4, 2004. March 4, 2004 I weighed 277 lbs. I stumbled onto Dr. McDougall and his line of Right Foods ... which is basically a vegan eating plan. I lost 68 lbs by October 3, 2004. Then apparently the holidays arrived and by December 26, 2005 I had gained 11 lbs, back up to 220. Apparently I had a brief motivation to lose again and by January 13, 2005 I had lost 5 lbs. Then there was this long stretch of nothing ... until June 2, 2005 when I weighed in at 226 ... which really isn't that much of a gain from Christmas ... had I woken up and smelled the coffee!! LOL!!!
Again, a long stretch of no weigh-ins until January 12, 2006 - 249 lbs. So in 6 months I gained 23 lbs. One would have thought with the new year and I'll I would have been motivated to "get with my program" but alas ... the next weigh in was in March 2006 at 255 up 6 more lbs!! Still I farted around for 5 more months before I got serious again at 256 lbs ... but at least I didn't go up considerably over the summer which in retrospect was quite an accomplishment.
August 2006 I started using Medifast, weighing in at 256 lbs. I consistently weighed every month until May of 2007, ending up at 198 and as low as 192 in March 2007. I had a surgery in June 2007 and was up to 209 by July 2007. By October 2007 I had gained up to 220, by December 225. A gap until February 2008 when I weighed in at 232 lbs.
I returned to my Medifast strategy and from February to May 2008 I dropped back to 206 lbs. Then I went on vacation and avoiding weighing in again until January of this year ... and I was back up to 239!!
Sorry to bore you all with this! I think this is more for me than anyone else so I can read this again and really let this information sink into my brain!!
What is different this time? This time I did not use someone else's "plan" or "method." I use the Medifast Cocoa but that's it. I use that because it is a quick and easy way to get in protein in the morning without cooking and I like the love coffee!! I mix it with my coffee in the morning and it is like having a Mocha!! I have been eating "real" food. I have been counting calories, something I have resisted my whole life because I was sure I would feel deprived. I've always searched for the plan that would let me eat as much as I wanted and still lose weight.
Another difference is that I have gone out and enjoyed myself with food on several occasions. Sometimes just for a dinner out and sometimes for a little vacation. I have stayed on the scale and not let temporary increases equate to "failure." That is a major difference as I look back over the past 5 years. I think I might be onto something good!!!
Measuring portions, weighing food, and counting calories IS NOT EVIL!!! I do not feel deprived at all. WOW!!! Weighing myself everyday is also not EVIL!!! It is quite helpful actually because it keeps me conscious and from slipping into denial and procrastination. I have discovered I can "splurge" and I can quickly return to my normal routine. I still struggle with the inner negative thoughts but they are not in control of me any longer. I feel good, I feel accomplished.
I doubt that it would ever be in my best interest to completely stop calorie counting. Maybe that will change in time but I am not anticipating that being a wise choice for a long time to come if ever. I KNOW that I will ALWAYS need to embrace the scale as a useful tool. If I find myself not weighing loud sirens should sound off in my head ... because it is likely that I have returned to old habits. I do think that using fatsecret has been good for me. Not only for the journals (food, exercise, and thoughts) but for the accountability piece ... the support ... the listening to my self-talk.
Okay ... enough is enough!!! This has been good for me to review this morning. It reaffirms the concept of the never-ending journey and has made me aware that I've been on this journey much longer than since January of this year!! LOL!!! Time to get in my exercise before it gets too hot this morning.
I hope each of you, in whatever way works for YOU individually, find a way to acknowledge your journey, your progress, your worth!! We each have slightly different paths. We each have different goals. While the numbers are significant the "how" we achieve the numbers and maintain the numbers is just as if not more important to pay attention to. While we don't always agree with each other's input ... it has been for me very helpful to consider and have the privilege of observing the journeys of fellow sojourners. Have a great weekend!!!
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2171 kcal
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Rasva: 87,77g | Prot: 110,61g | Hh: 249,27g.
Aamiainen: medifast cocoa, water. Lounas: Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy French Vanilla, strawberries, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins, deli turkey slices, Alpine Lace Light Provolone. Päivällinen: Caesar Side Salad, Hashed Browns with Cheese, bacon, Eggs, Butter, Dinner Roll, Garlice & Olive Oil Vermicelli - As Prepared, Shrimp, Corona Light, margarita. Välipalat/Muut: Special K Protein Bar Honey Almond, Fiber One. lisää...
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2891 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Elliptical - 1 tunti ja 18 minuuttia, Lepo - 14 tuntia ja 42 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
Great reflections! When I look back, the two key ingredients for success have been keeping the food diary and exercising. The better I adhere to those 2 things, the better my results. So I'm planning on continuing to track even after I get to my goal, too. So glad you found what works best for you! You have a great weekend, too!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: amryk
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I so agree. I forgot to reflect on the exercise component. That is a key component for me as well. Not only is losing/maintaining easier with exercise but I feel so much better, sleep better, it is very important for me. Speaking of exercise ... I better get busy soon!!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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The definitive comments in your posts are very helpful for me - thanks so much. When you say that "what is different this time" is that you are not using someone ELSE'S plan - you hit the target for meany of us. WE have got to maintain a grip on what is RIGHT and GOOD for us personally. So many of us have been "at the mercy" of some one ELSE'S plan when we should design our own. When you say that you have "enjoyed yourself with food on occasion," you hit another important target. Food was made to be a source of pleasure and enjoyment - not a source of deprivation or misery. One trait MANY of us have in common here at FS is that we do - indeed - love food! Thanks again for telling me two "fat secrets." Another amazing journal today on your part!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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Meany = many. He-he-he-he! We are not "meanies." We are nice people.
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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Down and down your weigh goes, where it will stop no one knows. :-) Keep up the great work.
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: WECANDOTHIS
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Your typos Poet are always so entertaining!! I love how you always come back and "correct" them ... must be the English teacher in you!! Now, although I am not a fan of Freud your typo caused me to wonder about a subliminal meaning. "Meanie" ... (oh subliminal for me no suggestion for you!) ... I think I've been a "meanie" to me for much too long!! The way I looked at myself, the way I judged myself and compared myself to others, my tendency to want to be "perfect", my propensity to highlight my "shortcomings" rather than my "strengths". Being "mean" to myself in some sort of way kept me from being able to "enjoy" my life and embrace my humanity. I still don't really enjoy my "fallibleness" but I am so much kinder to myself and more quickly realize that making "mistakes" is inevitable and not something to dread and beat myself up for. I do agree ... we here are all "nice people"!!! Perhaps, like me, we have not been consistently "nice" to ourselves. We are all works in progress ... I sure wish I had figured this out when I was younger!! LOL!!! But, I'm glad I'm beginning to understand it now!!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Bravo! Why is it so easy for us to be nice to everyone else and be so down on ourselves. Lets keep trying to treat ourselves with the same respect that we deserve. Lets try to see the good in us and in our accomplishments. You have been doing marvelous. Take pride in it and be happy that you are trying and accomplishing so very much!!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Did someone post something nasty on your journal? If they did I am so sorry. Most of us here are very supportive so please keep posting your thoughts. It is so important to share. We are all trying to accomplish the same things. We are here for you!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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madaboutmoose - I think you'd like a book entitled "The Pleasure Prescription." The subtitle is "To Love To Work, To Play - Life in the Balance." The author is Paul Pearsall, Ph. D. I just re-read it yesterday and it worked in removing some of my worry warts! This book supports a oceanic philosophy, an Hawaiian way of living that disallows fretting, stressing, tension, or uptight stick-up-one's-bootie attitudes. I think you'd like it a lot! Gosh Dang it - if you were here in person - I'd hand it over right now - only as a loan - of course. Just a thought!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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Poet ... thanks for the recommendation! We're going to the library this afternoon ... perhaps I shall see if it is there! Sounds like it might be right up my alley!!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I get you. You and I are a lot alike. I like how when you were using other methods other than eating healthy and exercising the weight came back on, more proof that its the hard work and not the gimmick. I liked how you said that a gain was not proof that your body wanted to be heavier. I get that, I so do. I thought that recently too, .ike maybe I am not at the right weight and am suppose to be fatter, umm no put down the chocolate blizzard and good n plentys and get your butt back in gear, lol, (I said that to myself not to you). I really enjoy reading your journals. Keep up the great work and whoot whoot on another pound gone! You go girl!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: yogamama3
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Finding our own way - this is really important! Because we have to do this from now on. Exercise - my friend says she HATES the machines at the gym. I have decided that I will love them - they are the tools to get me healthy! Great review of where you are now!
01 elo 09 jäseneltä: abbadabba
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I can relate to much of what you said here. I've travelled many of the same paths...and I too decided this time to forget fads, programs, and plans. I simply decided to eat whatever I wanted, but create a "calorie budget" (that's what I call it). I have a set amount of calories to spend every day...if I go crazy on something bad, I know I'll be hating it later in the day when I have no calories left to spend. It's simplistic, but it's working for me...and I don't have to buy any special foods. Your journey, and your thoughts/reflections on it, are an inspiration, thank you for sharing them with all of us.
02 elo 09 jäseneltä: onmyway
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"This above all - To thine own self be true." Shakespeare's "Hamlet"
02 elo 09 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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I enjoyed reading this. What positive energy you have! :-)
02 elo 09 jäseneltä: twilightmom
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Awwww, Carol. Once again, you continue to inspire me with your positivity. I also love poet-in-motion's comments lol
02 elo 09 jäseneltä: girlygirlatheart
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Carol what an inspiration you are to me. You always know what to say and when to say it. You are an amazing woman with knowledge and compassion that you freely share. And I would say that even if you were not my daughter. Of course you are my daughter and I am very proud of you. I am confident you will find your comfort zone and be happy with your success. I love you.
02 elo 09 jäseneltä: judibird
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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