Hello Friday!!
There was a light dusting on snow this morning. Welcome to winter.
Day 12 of my Leptin reset project. Scale still up this morning from my weight here on FS ... 204.6 I believe. I of course was hoping it would be at least 204 but alas ... not today. This is the place I get impatient. The hope of under 200 ... and then of course my body does what it always does ... flucts around ... and I find the black dog on my shoulder beginning to tell me "see, it's not working" "see, you aren't going to lose weight" "you might as well eat what you want to eat" and other unhelpful comments. I'm telling the black dog to heel but she isn't always very obedient.
This week has been a bit of a struggle emotionally for me. I know exactly what it is. I have a family I work with (or I should say have tried to work with) that I've not had much success with. I won't write the details due to confidentiality but suffice it to say it has involved a fair amount of conflict with them "blaming" me ... or at least I have felt blamed. This hardly ever happens to me. Cognitively I know it has little to do with me personally and a lot to do with the dynamics and issues in that family. Still, I find myself doubting myself, feeling anxious, feeling like I have done something wrong. All things considered I am negotiating my way through it fine. I have a supportive supervisor and team and my supervisor is going to offer them someone else on the team to work with as a primary contact. That is fine with me. Still ... the feelings nag. They will subside eventually. No perfectionistic tendencies or control issues here!!! LOL!!!
And so I am grateful ...
1. It IS Friday and I am looking forward to the weekend whatever adventures it may hold.
2. The growing awareness I have about the thoughts that run through my head which contribute to my tendency to be unkind to myself.
3. Adorable 2 year olds who give me hugs, say my name in many cute ways, and play with with me!!
4. Wood heat.
5. A husband who loves me without judgment about weight, make-up, stretch marks, jiggle, and so forth!!
This is one of those mornings I am not feeling particularly postive ... but nevertheless here goes!!! I am kind to myself. I take care of myself. I listen closely to my body's cues and nourish it with foods that support my body to shed excess fat and weight efficiently and healthily. I like myself!! I love my body!! Our wood shed is full. We have money saved for a vacation in February 2012. Our dental needs are met. I am a successful business woman and entrepreneur. I am an expert in my field. People pay me for my expertise. I am organized and efficient. I plan well and carry through with my plans. I manage our finances responsibly. I handle strong emotion and conflict calmly. I am responsible. I am persistent. I am determined. I am patient. I earn $100,00 a year.
I have a final visit with a family today who is moving to Wyoming. I've been with the family for more than 2 years. I will miss them.
I wish I had coffee!!! Maybe that is what I need more coffee? Ah, the joys of being human. I hope you each have a good day ... that you are able to see the joy today, feel some sense of contentment, and practice kindness towards yourselves. I'm focused on that myself. Joy, contentment, kindness.
Take care!!
Näytä dieettikalenteri, 04 marraskuuta 2011:
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1485 kcal
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Rasva: 85,94g | Prot: 138,25g | Hh: 42,12g.
Aamiainen: shredded cheese, chorizo, coconut oil, eggs. Lounas: chicken breast meat, Cottage Cheese. Päivällinen: Cauliflower Rice, Gorton's Shrimp. lisää...
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2745 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Pilates - 30 minuuttia, Lepo - 7 tuntia ja 30 minuuttia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Toimistotyö - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
Oh but it is working! You are down and now in the process of pushing through the stall. My body likes (or liked, hopefully) 140 lbs and when I got there I felt same way. It's okay to feel what you are feeling-just DO NOT let it change your behaviour. Stick with the plan silly sausage. That's an order. You are a persistent one. I relate to the sense of responsibility for your clients. Remember-you can only work as hard as they are willing to...and of course they "blame" you, it's their way of coping with the chaos. I am sure you "know" this. I hope it helps to hear it. Have a wonderful day.
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: Densible
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one foot in front of the other fellow traveler- the scale will say nice words tomorrow. i am so happy it's friday. Hope your weekend is filled to the brim with goodness and love : )
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: sharonfriz
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Thanks Dens. You are right I do "know" it and yet it does help to hear it!! I will stick with the plan. I promise!!! In fact ... I'm already plotting my dinner ... shrimp sounds good. LOTS of shrimp!!! I read somewhere that folks substitue grated cauliflower for rice ... have you ever tried that? I wonder if you cook the cauliflower first or just grate it raw? Oh I suppose I could google it ... duh.
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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LOVE the cauliflower as rice or potato. I've done a cauliflower risotto-using grated raw cauliflower or cauliflower mash-steam the cauliflower until it is really soft, add seasonings and whatever you like-I do laughing cow light and some nutmeg/salt/pepper and blend together. Do you have an immersion/stick blender? Roasted cauliflower is the bomb too. Shrimp is my go to protein. I eat it most days than not. Shrimp lettuce wraps, yummy!
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: Densible
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I did up some cauliflower tonight as "rice" ... it was quite tasty!! I will have to try your other suggestions!!! I love shrimp ... only wish it wasn't so pricey. I might get used to this way of eating if I stick with it long enough!!
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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You can do it! I am feeling the same way sometimes, wonder if it is all worth it esp when hubby eats all sorts of crap and isn't fat like me... LOL
But we just have to keep on keeping on! I wish I had signs of the reset, I really want to start lifting weights LOL
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: squigglywiggly
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Hey, Carol...sorry that your week has been less than ideal. The family that you described obviously have some deep seated problems, and as much as I know you would like to, you simply cannot please or fix everyone. Some people just don't want to be "fixed". It sucks, but it is what it is. I know that you are good at what you do, and that you have done all you can to accommodate them, so don't beat yourself up. Hope your weekend is fabulous and filled with wonderful adventures you smart, kind, beautiful, fun, 50 something friend of mine! :)
04 marras 11 jäseneltä: ctlss
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Thank Stef ... I appreciate the vote of confidence. It is what it is ... just doesn't happen often to me so it throws me for a little loop!!
05 marras 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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