Päiväkirja - madaboutmoose, 16 syys 09

Sometimes I go sit in my car and curse at the steering wheel - are there woods you can go stomp through ranting like a maniac? that's what reduces stress for me. May you find an inner calm to get you through your coming days! 

Abba ... you made me smile with the thought of you cursing at your steering wheel!! There is room for me to go wandering through the woods stomping and ranting like a maniac!!! I may opt for that soon!! I know that eating like I did last night on a regular basis isn't good for me ... it is just what I did last night to cope, ineffectual as it may be, it worked for the moment. I will not do it today. I've worked too hard to get where I am. Thanks for the suggestions ... I'm sure I'll find some inner calm eventually. 

{hug} 

I did too! Ugh! Wanna hear a funny story... okay... It might make you feel better. Yesterday, my car broke down and got towed, our electricity got turned off, my 17 year old brother was arrested, I had to pry a piercing out of my ear with pliers, annndddd our TV only recorded the second half of the biggest loser. I was so angry/upset/frustrated all day, but I fought the urge to binge all day too! I think I went through a whole pack of gum and ate a pound of celery. Then, just when I thought I was in the clear and so proud of myself, I ate about 1000 calories in peanut butter, bananas, tortillas, 2 odwalla bars, and grilled chicken strips at like 1 in the morning. And I remember thinking, "Wait I need to stop... oh but I dont give a shit." I should have walked away. But didnt. And I seriously paid for it this morning. Ugh, I feel like poop lol Anyways, It happened. I'm not sure how, but I know why. Moving on and being positive is the best thing to do. *HUGS*  

You have definitely entered the "One day at a time" time-zone. Or more appropriately, one hour, or one minute at a time. I'm so sorry I have no words of comfort, because there simply aren't any when you're going through something like this. All I can offer is that WE CARE; and YOU ARE NOT ALONE. How is your beloved husband coping? Hold tight to your love for one another and try to KEEP THE FAITH, moment-by-moment. And NEVER, NEVER be hard on yourself... Most of us would have polished off a fifth and stuffed ourselves with a Family Pack of Ruffles....for starters.  

Oh, and it goes without saying....a quart of Sour Cream Onion Dip with those Ruffles. 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!! Your comments are so wonderful and bring both tears to my eyes and laughter to my heart. Thank you!! I am working on remaining "in the moment." I got the bone scan and MRI scheduled for tomorrow and moved up the next urology appointment to Tuesday so that felt good. Less waiting around to see what to do next. Hubby looks to me like he is holding up better than me ... but then looks can be deceiving. We'll get through this ... one way or another ... and thank you for reminding me I am not alone. It helps just to be able to "talk about it" at times and know that someone is "listening" 

You are in our prayers. 

Hugs to you Moose. It's a rough road to navigate but you'll get through it. We're here! 

Hugs!!! I am going thru the exact same thing right now, what do we do?