|
Thank you all, again for your encouraging words and comments on my journal yesterday. Hubby says "stay home" but I can see in his eyes he wants me to go and so I am going with him again today. We both slept pretty good last night and at least I got my laundry done and a couple of other little things so there really is no need for me to stay home. I think, he thinks because it is Mother's Day I shouldn't need to go. But, I would just worry about him if I stayed home. If I was sick I would stay home but I am okay. Just loosing my voice is all and maybe that is a blessing!! LOL!!!
FIL has had a couple "brighter" moments but they don't last long and he is completely tuckered out. We'll see how he is today. They have been transfusing him blood in addition to the antibiotics, his feeding tube, and oxygen 24/7. He tries to write to us but most of the time I can't figure out what he is trying to say. He mostly wants juice but he can't drink right now. It is difficult to watch and more difficult because he did not make his wishes explicitly known like my own father did. It was easy to make health decisions for my dad because I knew exactly what he wanted and what he did not want. I'm not saying it is easy to watch someone die, but it is easy to respect their wishes. I felt honored that he trusted me to make sure he was attended to when he could no longer do so himself.
Happy Mother's day to all of you out there who are mothers at whatever stage of 'mothering' you are in!!
I briefly stepped on the scale this morning and I think it was up but I didn't write it down and now I can't remember what it said. I shared some teriyaki chicken and rice with hubby yesterday so no doubt the sodium would be impacting me today. We also ate breakfast out, and though I only ate half of what was on my plate ... well you know ... more sodium.
I am not going to stress about the fluctuations. I have a pair of size 10 pants on this morning, and granted they are knit and stretch, but still they fit great!! At 5' 10" and a fairly large frame I'm not going to sweat it. I will continue to be conscious about what I am putting in my mouth and it will be just fine.
Well, I need to finish getting ready so we can make the 1 1/2 drive to the hospital and see how FIL is doing. Thank you for all your kind words, supportive comments, positive thoughts, and prayers. It is always so nice to get back home and check in here to see who stopped by. I only wish I had more time to return the favor. But you know my heart is with you!!!
Take care, be kind to yourselves, and I'll see you later!!
|
 Kommentit
My prayers are with you darlin'...I read back a few days in your journal and I'm so sorry for all the stress you have going on...Doesn't sound really promising for FIL - perhaps today tho, he'll be a bit more lucid...I'm one of those who has an advanced health care directive should something tragic happen...My son has agreed to see to my wishes...everyone should do so...hugggs to you and hubby...It's tough when the ones you love are in distress...best wises darlin....xo
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: drd3775
|
It good that you are sticking close by your husband as much as possible during these incredibly difficult times for him. I'm sure that you are right and that he needs you now more than ever before, these are the times when we are given the opportunity to show our humanity. I like what I heard about FIL's brighter moments, but your assessment in the rest of the paragraph sounded a little more reserved. I hope that after visiting your father in law you can place your mind elsewhere and find some pleasant spot where you can enjoy peace between yourselves. Happy Mother's Day moose!
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: information
|
Yes it is good that you can be there for your husband and it is difficult to make health decisions for someone when you are not sure of there wishes. I hope the visit goes well today and you have a Happy Mothers Day!
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
|
Hi again Moose. I hope today was good for you! Talk to you later.
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
|
Back home after visiting FIL. He isn't any better today but we did actually get him to tell us he wants to made comfortable but not to have any more major medical procedures. What he really wants is a glass of ice water ... and hopefully tomorrow when we talk to the doctor we can arrange that. They won't give him anything by mouth because of aspiration ... he isn't protecting his airway when he swallows. But, if indeed he is dying ... shouldn't a dying man have a drink of ice water if he wants it?? I'm glad I went with hubby. It is really hard for him to see his father like this. And, for whatever reason, his dad seems to take comfort from my presence. Maybe it's just the woman's touch thing. Although he did tell us that I am "the smartest girl he has ever known." We can't make out everything he says. It just takes him so much energy to try to talk. And now, if we take him off the cpap mask his oxygen levels start to drop dramatically right away where as yesterday he did okay on the nasal oxygen for short periods. It is just sad to see him so weak. Unable to eat or drink. He has always been a very independent man, to a fault almost, and now he can only lay in bed. Tuesday will be 2 weeks since his surgery. They are giving him insulin now. They are concerned about his kidneys. And, he has fluid either in or around a lung, making it even harder for him to breathe. So, we'll be at the hospital early tomorrow, 7 am, to try to catch the doctor. FIL's brother will be there. He has the power of attorney for his health decisions. Despite this ... today has been good. There is something honorable and comforting to me, even though it is also emotionally draining, about being there for someone, gazing into their eyes, holding their hand, stroking their head, being present for them. Now I think it is time to put on my comfy clothes and put a movie on the TV and zone out. We have to be out of here by 5:30 am to be at the hospital by 7 am. I really doubt my FIL will pull through this ... I just don't want him to linger and suffer. For all concerned.
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
|
Poor Moose and your husband. It is so sad. Life is so sad sometimes. I am glad you can be there for your husband and that your presence brings your father in law comfort. Relax tonight and good luck and best wishes for tomorrow. Know I am thinking about you.
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
|
For someone who used to be independant, this situation must be absolutely intolerable. Like you said, this is not a life. At least he has his son and you beside him, this is so important. You're in my thoughts, I hope you can catch the doctor tomorrow. Have a good night, try to relax and gather your strenght for tomorrow. Take care.
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: jessyline
|
I feel terrible just reading these latest comments moose, so I can just imagine how you all must be feeling. Sometimes seeing death come close to us can help us understand just how short and precious our time here really is. I was rethinking my own strict codes of internet privacy today and observing myself thinking how very real all of this is, and that how you sharing this part of your life here teaches us all to be more humble, less material, and more appreciative of the little things that we take for granted and that really are the most important things in life. It's amazing how difficult it is for people to understand how quickly and suddenly things can end and how important it is for us to be kind to each other. They should teach us more about this in schools. My prayers and best wishes are with you and your family my dear friend.
09 touko 10 jäseneltä: information
|
My thoughts are with you, your husband and FIL. So much stress on you all, yet you are handling it. Thank you for showing us all that it's possible to deal with what life gives us - not only deal with it, but find some meaning to it all. (((((((comfort hugs))))))) I hope you were able to get some veg-out time last night.
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: amryk
|
I would look like a pygmy next to you! I always wanted to be tall, or at least average height - guess that just wasn't in the cards for me. As far as FIL.... I'm sorry you and your husband are having to go through this. On a bright side, you didn't say anything about fake MIL, so thats good... Have a good one, and take it easy.
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
|
I am sorry to hear about your FIL, Moose. Hugs to you and your husband, who I am sure very much appreciates your efforts to support him.
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: erikag
|
i am so sorry that you are going through this...
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: veggies yuk
|
Well said Glen...this echoes my thoughts exactly...My thoughts are still with you both, Moose...huggggs
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: drd3775
|
Moose, it's so hard to find the words....just please know we are all here, and we are all thinking of you and hubby at this very difficult time. I am so sorry; I have felt the pain of death in my own family and sometimes nothing said is better. Just know we care!!
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: The Next Number
|
Oh Moose, I am so sorry. I'm feeling your pain. I could have almost written this same journal when my Mom was in the hospital at the end of last year. Prayers are with you all.
10 touko 10 jäseneltä: mbhpro
|
Best wishes to you, Moose, in this very difficult time - to be able to do the right thing is often very comforting and I hope your time with FIL continues to be a comfort to you, your husband and FIL.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: abbadabba
|
Moose I hope all is well. Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and your family.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
|
Hi Moose I am thinking of you... your family is in my thoughts and prayers!
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: Chris1979
|
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: information
|
Hi Moose, You're in my thoughts my friend. I hope things are going as well as possible.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: jessyline
|
| |
|
|
| |
Lähetä kommentti
Sinun täytyy kirjautua lähettääksesi kommentin. Klikkaa tätä kirjautuaksesi.
|
|
|
Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
|