Oh I wish I could share an upbeat light-hearted journal entry full of good news ... but I can't. So ... fair warning ... if you are looking for inspiration and warm happy feelings please do not read the following.
The generator needs a fair amount of work. I guess there is good news. Our neighbor has set up a shop and his labor is only $25.00 per hour in contrast to what it would cost to take it to the manufacturer's shop which is considerably more for labor. The bad news is we are already $120 into labor just to tear it down and diagnose it and we need to order parts. So we a limping along on our old gas generator. The old generator has been hard to start, which is frustrating to my husband. He is not a happy camper. Neither am I but we just handle frustration in different ways. It has been raining pretty much nonstop which adds to the gloom and also, for reasons I won't go into here, complicates his job so there has been a lot of stress at work for him as well. If we are fortunate, the generator may be up and running by the end of next week.
It is difficult to believe we had such a good time over the weekend and things look so bleak right now. Financially we are really struggling and don't seem to be able to get a break. I know we aren't alone in that, many people across the world and in our country are struggling as well.
Believe it or not I have stayed on track with my eating these last couple of days. I can't exercise though because my elliptical uses electricity and we have to be really careful about what we use right now. I'll 'officially' weigh-in tomorrow but today I was 185 which is about 2.4 lbs up from last week at this time. I guess not too bad considering being out over the weekend. Actually I've fluctuated 2 or more lbs. when I've been on track in the past, so I guess I'm not too concerned.
In actuality, given the events of the past 10 months I think it is nothing short of a miracle that I have maintained as well as I have. There are moments I just want to say to hell with all of this and eat myself into oblivion. But, I don't like how that feels. It is one thing to indulge on occasion, it is another to eat like I used to eat. Cindyshine said something the other day about being 'worth it.' I AM worth it. I do feel better physically and emotionally, even with all the things we've been through. So ... I am hanging in there ... wondering 'if' we might ever see a break in this pattern of difficulties. I know life is full of difficulties and everyone has them ... it just feels like we have been at a nonstop run of one thing after another without much respite in-between events. I'm usually the 'positive' one ... the one who can see the silver lining in the cloud and I'm struggling to not feel totally weighed down in despair.
Alas though ... I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and trudging along, paying attention to the positives and the blessings in my life because I do know they are there. I feel like Alexander in the children's book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" .... his mother told him ... "some days are like that, even in Australia" ... perhaps for me some years are like that ... even in Idaho. LOL!!
I hope you my friends are having more happy moments than I right now. Thanks for listening.
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589 kcal
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Rasva: 10,94g | Prot: 42,68g | Hh: 85,39g.
Aamiainen: water, Special K Protein Bar. Lounas: yoplait light thick & creamy, Weight Watchers Yogurt, white turkey meat, Jarlsberg Lite, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. lisää...
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2546 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Toimistotyö - 9 tuntia, Ajaminen - 2 tuntia, Lepo - 5 tuntia, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia. lisää...
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
Moose- you didnt even know me and were here to listen to me- so i am here for you too;)
Things get reallllly crappy sometimes-one thing after another after another, and then the weather makes everythign so much worse. From what you have been journalling you have indeed been going through an awful lot lately and I am sorry for everythign that has been going on.
It is nice to hear you celebrate your successes though- doing as well as you have given all the circumstances.
Keep putting that foot in front of the other and things will certainly get better, especially with and attitude like yours;)
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: Baileyboo
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My son loves that book and some days *are* like that, even in Australia! I am pulling for you Moose. It's going to work out ok and you are going to hang in there because you are strong and you are worth it. Deep breaths. I am hoping it gets better very soon!
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: erikag
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What's that saying? It's always darkest right before the dawn? I think your sunshiny dawn is just around the corner. :)
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: Chris1979
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oh gosh Chris ... I hope you are right!!!
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I am so glad I kept reading! That Cindyshine is so darn smart!! LOL jk, its funny. It took me along time to realize my worth, of course I still question it often and I would prob be struggling even more if I had to face multiple difficutlies at one time. I like Chris' quote too. I think fatsecret knows your worth, and you keep that head held high. You are a wonderful woman, and I admire you!
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: cindyshine
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I adore your profile picture...you have the friendliest smile...you are very beautiful Moose...On the outside AND on the inside...In the end, what else really matters...Between the beginning and the end...life happens...and some of us get the crappy end of the stick at different times in our lives...I've had my turn too...
It IS difficult, some, perhaps not all of us here, have experienced it...And you KNOW it will get better...keep the faith...Cindyshine IS smart...I remember what she said too..."I AM worth it"...and so are you Moose...You've done incredibly well at maintaining...It's a fight every day...but we ARE worth it darlin'...Keep your focus, your chin up and try to stay positive...Happy friday hugggggs for you...hopin' for sunnier days ahead....
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: drd3775
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Drd is RIGHT! I am sorry I've never mentioned that smile before, it sure lights up my day! I LOVE your profile pic too
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: cindyshine
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I can sure relate to what you are going through. It seems there is never enough to make ends meet with one disaster after another but you will get through this and your attitude is great. We will get through this. Think positive even if you feel negative. We may not have control over our situations but we have control of our feelings. Have a great night Carol and I hope things settle down quickly.
04 kesä 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Compared to everything else that has been going on, this doesn't seem like much of a problem. I realize that it is not what you guys were looking forward to dealing with this weekend but, it should be behind you in no time at all. Try to make the most of it moose!
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: information
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SO sorry that your hard times are continuing..... I wish you could just go back to Mexico and forget about everything. Take care, and remember, I'm always thinking about you, even when I'm in Vegas, you'll be in my thoughs. HUGS
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
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Hi Moose! Those machines always find a way to make our lives miserable. I so understand you about the generator. Great news about your eating under control, I know I said it already but you are so sttrong, I admire you and how you get through all this stress. You're in my thoughts, have a great weekend.
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: jessyline
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Hi! Sorry to hear you are having money troubloes/life happening! I understand - just had to pay for a car accident for my daughter that I didn't want to. anyway, I found that jumping rope is a great workout - and you can actually do it without the rope too if you just need to get some cardio. Stand in one spot, and jump for 30 seconds. Pause/rest 15 to 30 seconds. Jumping this way burns 500 calories an hour.
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: abbadabba
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((((((hugs)))))) sorry to be repetitive, but hugs are my solution to everything. :) But they don't pay the bills, I know. I hope something works out soon!
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: amryk
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We are occasionally given mountains to climb...and with faith, we find the strength within us to climb them...Here's to hoping you're about at the summit...huggggs darlin'...hope your weekend is progressing nicely...
05 kesä 10 jäseneltä: drd3775
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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