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On a positive note, eating went well yesterday, no random snacking in the evening. Scale did not reflect any positive movement though, in fact I am "up" 209.something. I wrote it down at home but I can't remember what it was now. I continue to appear to be "stuck" even with the changes in my workout, adding flax oil, having a calorie "deficit" according to FS calculations. I have no choice but simply to carry on and not let it bring me down emotionally. I have a nagging feeling I am doing something "wrong" but then the numbers don't lie so perhaps my body is simply being stubborn. Maybe it is my age. Whatever it is will sort itself out eventually.
Another fun morning at home. NOT. The money arrived in the trading account which pleased my man ... but then the trade he wanted to complete was not successful because it is listed as a "foregin" company and the account he has doesn't permit "foregin" trades ... even though the company is located in the USA. So, much gnashing of teeth, yelling, frustration, negativity, and "need" of my assistance all while I was trying to get ready for work ... again. Another silent drive into town ... not one word exchanged between us ... please make it stop!!! I know his anger is not directed at me ... I simply have the privilege of witnessing it and my job is to not take it personally and try to be like teflon ... let it slide off of me. There will be a better day ... soon I hope!!
Sorry this is such a "bummer" of a journal entry.
Still ... there must be something I am grateful for today ...
1. Very busy day yesterday but all my visits went well.
2. Took one advil pm last night which meant I only woke up once during the night (a vast improvement over my typical nights) and woke up just moments before my alarm went off this morning.
3. A little cooler last night which meant the house wasn't quite as warm this morning (I think we are having our one week of summer).
4. Gettting to work early means it is quiet here for about an hour ... I enjoy the quiet.
5. Got caught up on my daily notes for the past two weeks yesterday morning (but of course I am behind again after my day yesterday!!)
6. I am grateful that at least I know now that when my dear husband is ranting and raving and fretting and spilling out all over the place that it is NOT about me. In years past I would not have handled this quite so well ... I would have taken it personally ... I would have tried to rationalize with him which just doesn't work when he is "feeling" whatever he is "feeling." Typically we can talk about it later but sometimes it is best just to let things go. Please don't misunderstand, he has MANY redeeming qualities and I do love him dearly. I am grateful for perspective, for being able to wade through these tougher moments and not let them define him, define me, define our relationship.
I imagine I should wrap this up and get busy catching up from yesterday paperwork wise. I'd rather go shopping!! LOL!!! Kindness continues to be the word of every day. Kindness towards myself, kindness towards others. Have a wonderful Wednesday ...
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1807 kcal
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Rasva: 63,74g | Prot: 102,15g | Hh: 181,08g.
Aamiainen: peaches, Vanilla Almond Milk, Weight Watchers Yogurt Lemon, Body Fortress Whey Protein Powder, Barleans Flax Oil. Lounas: shredded cheese, Turkey Italian Sausage, ground beef, yellow bell pepper, tomatoes, canned, zucchini, white onion, celery, Spaghetti Sauce, cottage cheese, eggs. Päivällinen: Mexican Blend Cheese, Picante Salsa, english cucumber, Fat Free Ranch Dressing, Oscar Meyer cajun chicken, tomato, Original Iceberg Garden Salad (Zip). Välipalat/Muut: Rold Gold Cinnamon Pretzels, Select 55, Luna Protein. lisää...
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3233 kcal
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Harjoitus:
Toimistotyö - 8 tuntia, Ajaminen - 1 tunti, Nukkuminen - 8 tuntia, Lepo - 6 tuntia ja 20 minuuttia, Elliptical - 40 minuuttia. lisää...
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 Kommentit
Whenever I get really frustrated I drink more water. And #6: men will be men and your dh would probably be surprised to hear that you used to take the problems personally - even my ex eventually made sure to say "I am just upset not upset with you"
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: abbadabba
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Julia, I know. Funny ... I'd like to drink more vodka!!! LOL!!! If I drink anymore water I'm going to have to set up my computer in the bathroom!! He and I are both "sensitive souls" so we tend to take things to heart. He and I are alike in many ways but he is definitely a man (focused on ONE thing at a time) and I am definitely a woman (often feeling responsible for solving the problems of the world). Thanks!!!
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Just think how 'getting it off his chest' is eventually reducing his stress levels. That teflon coating probably accounts for the upfluct on the scales :)
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: flaxseed
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Carol, just read the entries I missed while I was stuck in the grief cloud. You have been quite busy, have been dealing with some things that bring sadness to your heart (kids), and still you are doing very well. Great to see you filled gratitude and kindness toward yourself. Hopefully hubby's rant will have calmed him and your ride home will be peaceful and loving. As for the uptick on the scale...stress, baby, stress! Hugs and have a wonderful day! You are AWESOME!
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: ctlss
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Thanks for your kind words. You are doing well at holding your tongue - wonder how many calories you burn holding your tongue and biting your lip - lol. Men and women are soooo different. You do a great job with him - wish 'love' wasn't so hard sometimes but the pundits say that anything worth having is worth working for. Hope tomorrow's drive is better.
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: sarahsmum
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It is hard not to be affected by that even if rationally we know it is not directed at us. We have to have pretty tough skins to do that and although we like to think we do I don't think we really do. I hope today is a better day for you. Looked for you online this morning but couldn't find ya. Thanks for helping me out the other day. It was much appreciated and really made me see things that I really knew much more clearly.
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Cathy ... thank you and you are welcome!! Most mornings I am not online. Bob and I have been trying to carpool to save gas money and I am out the door with him by 6:15 am PST ... the day you and I chatted I was driving alone so could leave a little later in the morning. We will just keep trying ... might have to resort to making "dates"!!!
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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It sucks being yelled at, even if your not the one hes mad at. Evan gets like that sometimes, and even though I know hes not mad at me, I can't be around him. Try your best not to let it effect you, and cary on with your day. HUGS!!!!!!
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
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yea ... not much to like about it ... gotta love him though ... he sure isn't a "milk toast" sort of guy ... (did I mention I need a drink???)
24 elo 11 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I vote you have the drink!! Not fun to be surrounded by an angry, frustrated person. It's really hard to be supportive when they are going nuts. I think stress causes weight gain... maybe that's why the scale is stuck??
25 elo 11 jäseneltä: sharonfriz
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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