Päiväkirja - madaboutmoose, 17 joulu 09

You ARE indeed human! I think I remember you saying that you do family therapy. So I can only imagine the testimony involved something very emotional and difficult. You would be a monster if this DIDN'T upset you at a deep level. Plus you have a LOAD on your plate PLUS it's Christmas and despite all the lights and singing it's a very stressful time of year. SO BREATHE. I get obsessive about things I wished I hadn't said or done. My friend once told me this trick. You say DOH! out loud, Homer Simpson style. Sometimes it works. You just feel so silly that you'll laugh and remember that you CAN get out of your head. Congrats on not eating your way out of your bad day. You are making good progress here. Give yourself an early Christmas present and, as you remind me, practice KINDNESS TOWARDS YOURSELF.  

Oh honey! I am sorry you had such a rough one! I am sure you did not make a fool of yourself. We all seem to think we do far worse than we do in anyone else's eyes. Have a lovely day today and focus on all those positives. I know it is hard when you are under such stress but just do your best and know in your heart it is good enough. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} 

Court can be really rough, especially if you don't feel like you did yourself justice in your testimony. Remember, it's the lawyer's job in many ways to make you feel incompetent--you know you're not! Sorry you had a rough day but I am very proud of you for facing it head on. You will be feeling like yourself again soon. And great job on the blue line! 

Much thanks my friends!! Beets ... I too obsess about things I say or do ... so annoying!! I love your Homer Simpson suggestion. I'll work on that today. Oh Dawn, I did indeed make a fool out of myself. Not on the stand but as I walked out of the courtroom I said something to the security person out front that was heard in the courtroom about "never coming back there again" ... I guess the courtroom got a good laugh out of it. I felt so unprofessional and like a DOLT when I learned they heard it. Oh well. It isn't really all about me though is it? I also felt like I betrayed my client even though I KNEW that it was important that I testify. Just a mixed bag of stress, emotions, and that stuff. And Erika ... indeed ... attorneys are supposed to make the witness look foolish if they can!! I used to be in the courtroom a lot. Not so much in many years and I am soooo glad. I need to be able to laugh at myself and indeed be kind to myself. So interesting that when we are under stress we all tend to revert to the old familiar coping skills. I do know in my heart I'm okay ... quite frankly sometimes I wish I wasn't so sensitive, so self-conscious, and felt things so deeply. But ... it is ME. It has always been ME and will always be ME. LOL!!! Much thanks for all the hugs, encouragement and support. What would I do without it??? 

I find it hard to believe that you made yourself look overly foolish! Don't worry about it, hopefully that part of your life is done with. Sorry you have so much stress right now - I know what its like, and it can make the snack monster come out, but obviously, your doing WONDERFULLY with that!!! Keep you chin up buddy, we are here for you!!! 

Darn it, I am so out of the loop. I've been avoiding FS lately due to my poor eating/exercise habits lately. Why were you in court? And, I am very sure you didn't make a fool out of yourself. We are all so critical with ourselves, aren't we? By the way, have a great Christmas in case I don't check in again until January!!!! 

The thing about feeling foolish is that others don't see it as half as bad as you do and usually find it amusing. Don't be so hard on yourself. Stress and emotion makes you more sensitive, so file it away in the back of your mind and you'll smile at it yourself when you find it again. ((Big hugs)) 

More (((((hugs))))) just in case you need them. The people who heard you probably just think that you were very invested in the proceedings - much better than someone showing up to testify who doesn't care! I hope you feel better soon! You deserve peace and tranquility! 

Everyone has said it all and I echo their feelings. Ease up on yourself! Try and have a better day today! 

I think I do the exact same thing to myself. I take it very hard when I think I make a fool of myself or get caught doing something. I wish some one would snap me out of it... so snap out sista! Its very brave of anyone to go and testify, takes a lot of courage doesn't it? You admited it to yourself and on fs. That is courage I wouldn't have had. Scary about the icy roads, becareful 

Twilight ... court was work related, not personal. I'm better today ... really I am!! My hubby is insisting I be "sick" tomorrow to stay home and take care of myself. And, so I guess I will. My colleagues at work have been very supportive and all of you are too!! By Monday I intend to be back to my old self!!! Or perhaps I should say my new self? I've been practicing Homer Simpson and trying to see the humor in the situation!! Such a pain to be such a perfectionist!! 

I do not think I can add to the above comments. I do have a suggestion though. Put your left hand on your right shoulder, your right hand on your left shoulder, close your eyes and squeeze. That is a hug from me. Tomorrow WILL be better. 

I bet people only laughed because that was what they were thinking to themselves anyway! 

LOL!!!  

I'm reading this journal late and I could not say more than what everybody else said. I'm glad you feel better. please don't be too hard on yourself. good idea to take a day off tomorrow! enjoy the snow, go for a walk, spend time with your husband... forget all about your work until monday!((hug)) 

I think Hubby is right. Stay home, relax and destress! Try to enjoy your day.  

I was an obedient wife and followed my husband's wise counsel and am here at home today!!! Life goes on!!! I am just so darn intense sometimes!!! LOL!!! 

Good for you. I am sure your husband knows you very well and you will feel a lot better with a day to relax. I get way too intense too and sometimes a deep breath is all you need. Have a wonderfully chill day. :)