Five consecutive days at the hospital, with the drive and all the emotional and therefore physical stress is not conducive to exercise or balanced eating. I am so out of my routine I may have forgotten what my routine was! No. It will come back to me I am certain.
It has been an emotional roller-coaster. We were able to get the cardiac surgeon to agree to a DNR order in FIL's chart yesterday so that if he crashes they will not resuscitate him. Yesterday it looked like we were ready to bring on a palliative care physician and that we were looking at the end of his life. But, yesterday they also drained a bunch of fluid that was pushing on his lungs and today he was more alert and breathing better. He isn't 'out of the woods' yet by any means and it still remains to be seen just what his mental status is ... but today it looks like he may have turned a corner. He is still in the cardiac ICU but if he continues to improve will likely be moved to an intermediate care hospital next, perhaps by the end of the week. We have been fortunate to have a very caring case manager working with us, wonderful nurses, and a pulmonary physician (who used to be a hospice doctor) who took the time today to explain both courses, the possible road to recovery as well as understanding when enough may be enough. The cardiac surgeon is rather 'full of himself' (which probably makes him a very good surgeon) and difficult to discuss things with. He comes in defensive and doesn't listen well. Apparently that happens a lot with him from what I've been able to gather. I am so grateful for those on the staff who have taken time with us to support us through this process. And clearly we aren't done yet.
So ... time will tell. The staff will work with him to get him upright, PT and OT, and we'll see what happens. We are both going to work tomorrow unless of course we hear that he has taken a turn for the worse. We are both exhausted.
As far as fake MIL, last I heard (Saturday) she was in the hospital herself (different hospital). None of us has heard from her. FIL has not asked about her. At least she isn't complicating matters. Since she is not 'family' the hospital will not disclose information to her. Who knows what will happen there. Right now I can't imagine FIL being well enough to live with her again but who knows. Stranger things have happened.
I have no idea what I weigh. I've been so out of my routine ... but I'll get it back together. Tomorrow we are having cake at staff meeting for a long time employee who's position was eliminated in our recent budget cuts. I love cake.
Life is precious. Being with someone who is failing is as precious as being with someone who is thriving. Death is a part of life. I am honored to be able to be present with my loved ones when things are difficult. It is intense though. And I am tired. And of course, I've been feeling my own emotions, those of my husband's, those of the nurses and doctors, AND those of my FIL. No wonder I'm drained.
And so that's my story today. We are home, I am in my comfy around the house clothes and hopefully will get a good night's sleep (preferably hot flash free but lately those have been rampant at night!!). It was comforting reading all your comments today on my last journal. Thank you. It is something ... we come here to lose weight and we find so much more.
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![](https://m.ftscrt.com/static/images/box/membersicon.gif) Kommentit
You are so right. We are so much more here and we really care about each other and want to offer what ever support we can. I feel for you and what you are going through and I wish I could give you a great big hug. You are a strong person Moose but strong people get overwhelmed too so I hope you can curl up and relax and have a stress free, hot flash free night. Love to you and your family.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Moose, I wish you peace tonight and hope you get some well deserved sleep. Work will give you some moments to take your mind away from the stress you are under. Please be well and am praying that you will be able to handle whatever happens. My concern and very best to you and hubby.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: The Next Number
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Home is always a good place to be. I can feel the hugs through the miles and each is much appreciated. I'll sleep and hopefully not be too disturbed by the hot flashes, hopefully not wake up with a headache (did I forget to mention that?) and tomorrow will be another day. Thanks!
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Moose I am glad to hear from you and glad to hear that you are coping far better than most of us would be in such trying circumstances. I have no doubt that you will be right back in your routine as soon as you are able. I'll be thinking of you and praying for a peaceful outcome.
11 touko 10 jäseneltä: erikag
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My thoughts are with you. I just knew that your week had mirrored mine and the outcome very similar. We live to fight another day! I had only been thinking as I had a quick run through journals of the benefits of all our buddies on here. I've been to Italy with Cathy's daughter, cared for horses with Dawn and wandered through Info's profound thoughts. Losing weight hasn't featured highly on the list unfortunately, in fact like you eating and exercising have been far from my thoughts. May you sleep untroubled like a baby and awake refresheed and ready for another day. ((hugs))
12 touko 10 jäseneltä: flaxseed
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Flaxseed ... I'm sorry to hear your week has mirrored mine as mine has been very trying. Your comments are so true ... this is a wonderful place!! May you too find peace and rest during your trying time. HUGS to you as well!!
12 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I am hoping you are able to get some GOOD rest so you are able to keep pushing through this difficult time. Sending good thoughts your way Moose! Take care of yourself. :)
12 touko 10 jäseneltä: Chris1979
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LOL! You forgot what your routine was! Time for some serious meditation moose, you need to at least make an attempt to come back to center. The DNR order would be almost standard in this case, not having it would not be wise imho. When I heard about those slightly clearer days a couple of days ago, I suspected significant improvement, as I've seen this myself too many times. It's beginning to look positive from what I'm hearing now. Of course, you guys may not survive the ordeal, but that doesn't matter much (lol). I can assure you that there are *great* surgeons out there who know how to be brief and accurate with great style (i.e. without being full of themselves}. To the contrary, this would be an indication to me of why FIL is taking so long to recover. ;-) Anyway, great job and much love to you and your family moose.
12 touko 10 jäseneltä: information
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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