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My FIL's 'estate' probably isn't worth more than $1500.00. He owned a car and a gun, his clothing, paintings, art supplies, books, and a few pieces of jewelry. Of course there are the household furniture too ... that fake MIL's family moved out since she is now in long term care and they would have a difficult time proving who owned what even though they were not married (and Idaho has no common-law marriage recognition). It costs about $200 an hour for an attorney to consult with. We thought about writing fake MIL's daughter (who is the one who is stirring all this up) a letter from an attorney briefly explaining probate and that all the items they removed from the home would need to be itemized and appraised and could not be sold until probate was finished which could take 1-2 years, and of course that the decendent's bills would be paid first before his assets were distributed and see if that would shut them up.
Bob wants to pay an attorney to do that. I do not. Mostly because quite frankly we do not have the money and I do not think they have a leg to stand on. We have the car and that is that. It is at times like these that I wish I had an attorney friend who out of the goodness of their heart would just write the letter on their letterhead for us. I have doctor friends and nurse friends, and teacher friends, and therapist friends ... but alas ... no attorney friends.
I'm not good. I'm eating okay but I am not good. I had a very hard time dragging myself out of bed this morning. Bob and I are having a difficult time communicating, which I know is understandable with all this stress but still dismays me greatly.
I got served with a subpoena yesterday at work and completely panicked thinking it was related to all this crap. Turns out it was for a child I did an evaluation a couple months back who has been sheltered by the State again. I am angry, I am sad, I am back to wanting to hide under a rock.
I know this time will pass and things will get better. I would like to believe that what goes around comes around ... but I have had a number of experiences in my life where people have behaved very badly and have yet to see them "get it." Just once ... just once ... I'd like to see someone who creates this much pain and agony pay a price. Is that a bad thing to say? Sometimes I wonder if it really 'pays' to do the 'right' thing ... but of course it is just me. I can't help it. That doesn't mean I am perfect ... FAR from it ... I make mistakes all the time. However I do not intentionally hurt people. I do not lie, cheat, and steal. I am not mean.
Well ... I told myself I wasn't going to write on this journal for a few days because I am feeling so badly and didn't want to whine or bring anyone down. Or ... over share. I feel like I have been over-sharing here. Sorry.
It is almost 3 pm and I am going to get out of here. I got caught up on what I needed to do and now I'll go for my 4 day weekend. Maybe by Monday things will be looking up a little. Take care my friends. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me.
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975 kcal
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Rasva: 19,45g | Prot: 43,50g | Hh: 164,00g.
Aamiainen: water, Special K Protein Bar, Fiber One Oats & Chocolate. Lounas: Yoplait Yogurt Parfait, Laughing Cow Light Garlic & Herb, Thomas Bagel Thins, Weight Watchers Yogurt. Päivällinen: Healthy Choice Honey Ginger Chicken. lisää...
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 Kommentit
Don't ever feel like you are over sharing. We are your friends even if it is just online. We care about you and what you are feeling. We may not always have the right answers or maybe nothing to help other than listen but we are here. Sorry that you and Bobn are having trouble communicating. It is a hard time for the both of you and I pray that things get straightened out for you soon. I agree 200 is a lot to pay if the estate is only valued at 1500. It just depends how strongly you both feel about it. Try and relax tonight and take care of yourself. Much love.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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First of all, don't EVER not write because your upset - that is the TIME to write a journal! We are your friends, and we want to know how you are doing, especially in these tough times. The saying "What goes around comes around" is a good one, but your right, in my experience the ass holes hardly ever get what they deserve. And they always say that no good deed goes unpunished - lots of times, sadly, thats the truth. As far as you a Bob go, you two really need to make an effort to be on the same page right now, as hard as that may be. Maybe write him a short note explaining how you feel about the lawyer and such? I totally understand where you are coming from - why spend so much time and money on a lawyer when you know what you would be getting back in return isn't (financially anyway) that great. But right now hes just thinking emotionally, and I guess you have to be patient with that. Ok, I've rambled enough - try and take a little break, maybe take a nice hot bath and a glass of wine. But remember, we are all here for you, and to NOT tell us how you are just isn't OK - OK?! OK! HUGS!!!
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
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Oh Moose..... please, please, we are hear for you and we can be your sounding board to help you vent however you wish. I vent in my journal all the time. I really do not want you to NOT write or to think you are whining. My gosh, look what you are going thru. This is a rough emotional time in your life and if nothing else, we want to be someone you can talk to or vent to or if you want to whine, well for heavens sake, whine away. We love you guy, and certainly care how you feel. This is, as Cathy said, only on line, but maybe at least we are able to really listen to what you have to say. Sometime the payback goes unknown. I sure know how you feel about just once wanting to "see" the payback, but I firmly believe it happens. I have had many times I wanted to see that payback. I think and eye for an eye sounds only fair. Maybe sit with your hubby and try to explain how you are feeling. He is hurting too and probably has no clue how to handle everything. Men sometimes don't know how to help us. You write Moose and if you need to, pour out your heart. We may not have good answers, but we do care and want to BE THERE FOR YOU. Please, I hope you can relax tonight and get a bit of rest. Keep talking to us. If I don't hear from you I will worry. Lots of hugs coming your way Moose.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: The Next Number
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Moose, I sent you a PM. Please don't feel bad about venting to us, that is what the journals are for. I wish that I could make all of this better for you and I know I would not be doing as well as you are doing right now with all the stress you're under. You may never see it come back around to bite them but I firmly believe it will happen, in one way or another. Hang in there.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: erikag
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yes please dont feel bad about venting. Everyone needs an outlet and at this time, especially you. It must be terrible to go through everythign you are going through. Evenually everything has to rest, and so will all this unwanted nonsense. Take care of yourself and be strong.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: Baileyboo
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Thanks buddies. I just hate being in this space. It is negative. It's toxic. I'm embarrassed about it. I feel like something straight off the Jerry Springer show.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Moose, your buddies said it all. ((((((Hugs)))))
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: jessyline
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Living well is the best revenge! And don't forget that there are things you can take to get you through all of this - I would say some anti-anxiety meds might be in order for a week or two! My elderly aunt suggested the same for me - sometimes the old ARE wise after all! I think that stress makes us feel strongly even if we don't want to. Maybe try whining to yourself for a specific amount of time per day? My feeling sorry for myself is down to a minute or two a day.
27 touko 10 jäseneltä: abbadabba
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Vent away girl - get it off your chest. We are all here for you.Perhaps a typewritten letter from the person winding up the estate saying 'the attorney' has suggested probate as there is some dispute over the matter and setting out what that would mean in black and white may make her think again. That wouldn't cost you anything and may make Bob feel as though he is doing something positive. Enjoy your 4 day weekend as much as you can. ((hugs))
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: flaxseed
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Not sure what else I can add to all the support above, but I agree! Please don't feel bad about venting. How can we be good buddies if we're only there for you during the "good" times? ((((((hugs)))))) and hoping for better days for you VERY soon!
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: amryk
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I would highly recommend a visit to an estate attorney. He will be able to tell you *exactly* what everyone's position is. Don't leave this to God. I am very surprised that a trust doesn't seem to have been set up.
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: information
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No trust. My dear departed father-in-law was an incredibly stubborn and independent man right up until his departure from this earth. His will was handwritten and brief. "I have two sons, (their names inserted), and I leave everything to (name) [fake MIL]. So the reality is there isn't a leg to stand on. An estate attorney and probate would cost more than his 'estate' is worth. The executor has possession of the two items FIL told him to sell to pay for his cremation and internment and they will likely nearly cover the cost. The personal items ... if fake MIL's family had a heart they would give them to us ... but they do not. I doubt the court would have a heart and do something other than what the will described. I read up on probate matters via our wonderful internet and a very kind friend with legal knowledge also schooled me with some legal advice. I also have discovered that many, many, many others have been through similar situations with their family members. Which is sad but at least I know this is not unique to us. The other deaths I have been through in my family have not been like this. So ... today is another day ... and once again I am grateful for my buddies here. Off to post my journal for today ... I weighed in finally!!!
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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WOW look how many people have come here to comfort and support you Moose! If only all this happened 2 years from now... I could have been that attorney friend who happily wrote a letter for you pro bono! I think you are right though... possession is 9/10ths of the law and you have the car. :)
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: Chris1979
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Sweetheart You are not oversharing!!! It is great that you can get your thoughts out and that we are here to support you. Im sorry to hear about your Tragedy. And I do recomand seeing an attorney. Its better to hear the Facts then to wing it in this case! Hope all will be better soon. Have a wonderful 4 day weekend!
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: Beautiful95828
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I am indeed a rich woman.
28 touko 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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YOu are not over sharing by any means and I think your feelings are appropriate about wanting justice. I think everyone feels that at some time in their lives.
29 touko 10 jäseneltä: dawn0001
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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