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Monday February 15th ...
I'm okay. Things are hectic. Eating hasn't been optimal but I know I'll get back into balance at some point so I am consciously aware that I need NOT to stress myself out about that particular topic.
FIL update ... his lung appears to be okay. They drained the fluid, tested it and he does not have an infection and there is no apparent cancer. Angiogram is scheduled for tomorrow now. Those results will tell us how much damage has been done to his heart. Surgery will most likely be towards the end of the week.
I have realized that a part of why I get so upset is that I have expectations of others that they simply are not capable of meeting. Remembering that will help me. Hearing your stories has helped me realize that there are a whole lot of folks in this world who simply cannot do the "right" thing. I'm not even sure if it is a "will not" ... I'm sort of thinking they do not have the capacity. So, if I am expecting those folks to do the "right" thing I am setting myself up for disappointment at the very least. I need to remember who my "rocks" are ... and use them for support.
We took FIL's "wife" to see him yesterday. Bob and I wandered around the mall and then went out to eat Mexican. It was good. I drank 2 grande margaritas and enjoyed every swallow. They had a Seafood Lover's special I ordered ... whitefish, shrimp, scallops, mushrooms, carrots, bell pepper, and onions ... YUM. We got home and watched Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" and laughed. Good medicine.
I'm home alone today. Bob went to see his dad and then for his radiation treatment ... this week and next week and he will be done. I am finally able to attack my piles of papers here at home which is good. I may take tomorrow off too ... will decide that later.
As always ... in the midst of whatever we are facing in life I strive to focus on what I have to be grateful for ... there is much.
1. those in my life who do "get it" and are my "rocks"!!
2. realizing that it is not helpful to expect others to do what they do not have the capacity to do
3. home sweet home ... be it ever so humble there is no place like home!
4. being able to vent without being judged and
5. the unexpected blessing that fatsecret has become in my life ... I am touched by so many comments ... and DO feel understood ... I DO NOT feel judged ...
Time to tackle the next task ... thanks buddies!!!
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 Kommentit
Ya know, you almost have to feel bad for the people that can't / don't do the right thing. How were they raised? How are they raising their children? I think that at times, I do TO MUCH of the right thing, and you know what I've learned from that is it doesn't usually pay. Reserve the 'right thing' for the ones who really matter. Not saying to be rude to everyone else, but we need to think about ourselves too, KWIM? Do I sound horrible?? Anyway, I'm glad your getting the day to yourself - thats worth its weight in gold!! Don't work to hard, and take care of yourself.
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: MomofTwoGirls
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You deserved every swallow of your delicious margaritas my Dear! Every yummy citrus flavored swallow! My husband and I echo an expression with regard to others' behavior. We simply say, "It's outside our circle!" Willing others to conduct themselves in a manner whereby they do the "right" thing feels to me like trying to get blood from a turnip. Sometimes it just can not be donw. That lack of turnip blood is when you and I turn to one another and say, "It's outside our circle." I am glad that you are on the down side of your hubby's treatments and that your hubby's dad is okay for now. I'll be saying an extra prayer and sending along some good vibrations. MUCH LOVE.
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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I do know what you mean Sarah. I think there is balance in "doing the right thing" ... and there is such a thing as "casting pearl before swine" if you are familiar with that saying. Up until this morning I was kind of feeling like I did "too much" of the "right" thing but now I don't think so. Doing the "right" thing doesn't mean sacrificing myself or doing whatever someone else asks me to do. I'm not spending hours on end, sitting with my FIL's "wife", keeping her company, sweeping her floors, calling her to chat. I am getting her groceries and medications when she needs them and once a week we will take her to see my FIL while he is in the out-of-town hospital. It isn't what I "want" to be doing with my time but it makes my FIL happier and less worried. There is no one else to do it. Her family will not. It was the "right" thing to do yesterday ... to go with my husband to the hospital (taking the pseudo MIL along). I did not WANT to go. I wanted to stay home but I KNEW in my heart of hearts that Bob really wanted to with him, even though he said it was "fine" for me to stay home ... that he knew it was hard on me. So, I sucked it up and did the "right" thing. I didn't do it for her or even my FIL ... I did it for my husband and it wasn't bad at all ... he thanked me at the end of the day. You do not sound horrible. I feel similarly. It is so easy to do the "right thing" for some people. Harder when it doesn't "pay" or when it isn't "appreciated" ... myself? I have to remember I doing it because I believe it is the "right" thing to do ... no other reason. Oh geesh ... I feel like I'm talking in circles ... okay ... enough!!!! I've been eating that which I should not ... I think it has lowered my IQ about 20 points!! Sorry!!
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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I'm glad you are able to get to the piles today Moose. I think we can all relate to members of our "family" that tend to be selfish more often than not. I have a whole horror story that parallels your concern of losing family "heirlooms"(nostalgic, not monetary) to greedy relatives. Sigh. All the best wishes to you Moose! :)
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: Chris1979
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I sense a theme .... sounds like between all of us we could fill a wing of a library full of our experiences with interesting family members related by blood and/or marriage!!! Sigh indeed Chris ... it is what it is!!!
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: madaboutmoose
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Glad you are OK even though things are hectic. One of the things I learned from the 'group' was not to exect 100% from me or anyone else and I think that applies to your situation too. Do what is best for you and yours and what your conscience says is right and things will work out fine. Positive thoughts and hugs :)
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: flaxseed
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I am glad your FIL lungs are cancer free. That must be a relief. Your dinner and drinks sound really great and hopefully the movie lifted your spirits a little. You are a great person moose. When people let you down just remember that. You are doing the right thing. Enjoy your evening and relax.
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: chattycathy1955
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Well put - Glen. Well put. That quiet voice is what my we call integrity. Sometimes my husband and i turn to each other and say, "That difficult good deed will be your ticket to heaven." Hang in there Moose!
15 helmi 10 jäseneltä: poet-in-motion
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Painohistoria - madaboutmoose
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