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Seuraava
24 helmikuuta 2014
Hello all my FS friends : ) Hope you are all doing well : )
Been a busy weekend and I havent been on here much. I went to work yesterday and was told we have confirmed cases of the flu , Eeekkkk not what I wanted to hear. And today I got told that since I worked on the unit with the flu patients yesterday I now am officially quarantined to work on that unit the rest of the week because they are trying to isolate the exposure. I dont really mind but its stressful because so many people are very sick . And it is not my usual unit to work. I normally work on a locked dementia unit. I miss my patients. But I also would hate to make any of them sick if I were to get sick so I will spend the week on another unit and know it is for a good reason. Crossing my fingers that my flu shot works and I dont catch the flu.
So after my stressful day I came home and worked out for an hour. I plan to workout hard this week. I had no loss but no gain when I weighed on saturday. So I am trying to eat very carefully this week and plan to workout everyday.
On a plus note ... I pulled a smaller pair of jeans out of the closet saturday and THEY FIT ... Alittle tight but I wore them all day . That felt great : )
(11 kommenttia)
22 helmikuuta 2014
Paino:
Tähän mennessä pudotettu:
Vielä jäljellä:
Dieetin noudattaminen:
103,4 kg
8,6 kg
13,2 kg
Kohtuullisen hyvin
(1 kommentti)
vakaa paino
20 helmikuuta 2014
I was thinking and remembering the time after my divorce in 2008 when I lost alot of weight . I was down to about 175 , wearing a size 16 comfortably and I was HAPPY. I wasnt obsessive about the scale , I just ate healthy and worked out and it just happened. I remember buying a really cute pair of size 16 capri jeans and I knew I couldnt fit them . But every week or so I would try them on and see just how much closer I was ... All the sudden one weekend I was getting dressed for a cookout and WOOOOHOOOOO they fit.
I find motivation in strange ways ....
Yesterday I ordered a super cute pair of boots , the kind that look really cute with skinny jeans and a sweater. Well I cant fit into skinny jeans right now ( if I did that would not look good ) ... But I wanna rock those boots with some skinny jeans .... Soooooooo I will use them to motivate me everyday. Along with the size 16 capris that became my favorite that year I lost ... they are sitting on my dresser right now and I WILL wear them again soon.
I also bought a really cute dress on clearance today ... Of course it is also too small ... But I will wear it this summer ( hopefully by the time we take our annual beachy vacation ) . I WILL WILL I WILL .
So does this all make me crazy ... I hope not ... I have an entire wardrobe , most of it brand new that I bought when I lost before ... Its waiting in my closet , calling out for me ... And I am gonna wear it all SOON : )
(19 kommenttia)
19 helmikuuta 2014
I want to thank all of you who read my journal yesterday and offered kind words, support and encouragement. It really meant alot to me. The determined girl who wants to succeed at this is back ... and I plan to stay.
I was driving home from work today and the sun was shining and it was 40 degrees and I decided I needed some sun therapy. I walked in the door from work today and before I could get preoccupied and change my mind I changed into my under armour cold gear , popped in my headphones and cranked some upbeat motivating music ... and off I went JOGGING .... And I jogged I thought about how bad I really do want this ... jogging in the cold ( cause once you are out there 40 with wind isnt all that warm ) felt like paying my penance for the mistakes I made ... I want this , I have always wanted this ... So here I am back at the battle ... Not giving up , ready to fight , ready to win : )
(5 kommenttia)
18 helmikuuta 2014
I pretty much hate myself right now ... OK maybe I am just massively disappointed in myself. I have been eating like crap for days ... AND I feel like crap because of it ... I was doing sooooo sooooo soooo good since I started in january and in one weekend I just fell apart. why do I do this to myself. I feel like I need to just go to bed and wake up and try to forget it happened. Wake up and get back to my quest.
Here's a confession ... When I am unhappy or stressed out ... I'm a complete binge eater. I have done it for YEARS. I was doing so good and had not had any problems for a month and a half. And i felt better than I had in years. It felt good to eat like a reasonable healthy person. and I just totally lost myself again.
And do you wanna know what is really sad ... the real thing that just pushed me over the edge. My friend asked me to be in her wedding , and when I saw a picture of the dress she wants me to wear , I lost it ! What is wrong with me , that should have motivated me more ... Should have pushed me to try harder and harder. Why did it crush all my hopes ?
Tonight I am praying to wake up tomorrow and get a grip on my life again.
Why oh why oh why Do I do this ???
(25 kommenttia)
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